Yes, I disappeared.

There really is no other way to put it. To be honest, I wanted to write a bit more, but certain things happened in real life, and to make a long story short, someone very close to my heart died as a result of end stage cancer. It was a sudden diagnosis, and her course was just as swift — lasting only two-and-a-half months from diagnosis to the time that she passed away. Since then — and even up until now — I’ve been living in a strange, surreal world that feels off-kilter. Like something is missing, and I can’t put a finger on the sort of emotions I’m feeling.

I picked up a rather prophetic book before all of this happened: Haruki Murakami’s “Men without Women”. It’s ironic, looking back at it, how I purchase that book simply because I admire the author. Little did I know that I would become one of the characters in the very same novel. Regardless, I knew I had to read the book, and true enough, I’ve found some semblance of clarification in the sort of emotions I’m feeling. But the emptiness remains, and probably will remain for a while.

Maybe I’m depressed. That wouldn’t be surprising. But then I felt the need to write. I tried picking up a journal and I’m currently working on it, but then I felt the need to get back into watching anime. Probably not as actively as I used to — striving to inform readers about the must-sees of the season — rather, something a bit more reflective and “me-centric”.

Hence, I decided to pick up watching March comes in like a Lion again. I feel like there’s something in the series that I can relate to more earnestly, given I’ve always looked at the series with a clinical eye. I see patients with depression on a day-to-day basis, so it’s easy for me to look at characters like Rei as a clinical case. But there’s something disingenuous about looking at the show this way — and as much as I know I’ve said I loved the production, I feel the urge to watch it again, if only to find solace in what it means to actually nurse an emotional scar.

This is a deeply personal entry, and pray I ask you humor a sad individual like me who has found himself caught in a quagmire of sorts. But I think this is the first step towards healing. Of course, I will interject a couple lost in translations and editorials as I go, but my focus will be to look at March comes in like a Lion and reflect on how its morals speak to me on a deeper, personal level.

So with all that said, guess that means: I’m back.

Okay, so I disappeared this past week because I was preparing for my final oral viva… and it’s finally over!

God, I’m free. I’m a free man again. My second life as a post graduate student is finally over.

So yeah, just a couple plans. I wasn’t expecting Owarimonogatari (ge) to come out as a digest of three episodes, so I’ll probably go through them part-by-part alongside my episodic re-reviews of owarimonogatari (sho). That also means I’m thinking whether or not I’ll just combine the missing weeks in review, do a mid-season run down, and then just focus on the monogatari reviews.

Yeah, I might just do that.

Anyway, today is celebration day. I have a 6-pack of Tatcher’s and a barbecue raring to go, so don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying my life right now.

 

See you guys soon.

Ack, God… This was a really tiring two weeks for me.

So I was evicted from my flat (not my doing, honest), and I only just moved in to my new flat (much, much nicer), so I’ve pretty much spent the past two weeks moving back and forth between residences getting all my stuff in order. This was on top of the fact that I was appointed to be Senior House Resident for the current flat, and the residents I will be looking over are pre-sessional Chinese students who are here for the summer to learn English.

In a nutshell, I’ve been spending much of my time running around like a headless chicken whilst getting random phone calls from Chinese people who, for reasons beyond even their control, sound like they’re just begging to start a fight with me. That said, I haven’t watched ANY animu for the past two weeks, nor have I had time to focus on writing my dissertation, which is due in less than a month.

I am so f**ked.

That and the fact that my experiments aren’t really turning out the way they should, meaning I’m gonna have to throw in a bunch of negative data in my thesis and just use a load of BS to justify everything I did over the term. Dear God, here’s hoping I can fake it till I make it.

So yeah, I guess I’m going to come out and say that I won’t be doing any weekly reviews until the season is up, or at least until I’ve written what I have to write for my dissertation. But that, of course, won’t stop me from writing some editorials every now and then — when that does happen, it means my brain is dying and I’m looking for an outlet to maintain my sanity.

Anyway, pray for me guys. I want to keep writing, but just… damn. I wish August would come soon with everything neatly sorted. But till then, I guess I have to trudge through this shitfest for now. Wish me luck.

Quick update:

• Will post thoughts based on show titles till the end of the season, just so that I can play catch-up without confusing myself in the process.
• Finished Zelda: Breath of the Wild
• More editorials. Promise.
• Now playing I am Setsuna
• And more Lost in Translation.
• And maybe a movie review.

Wee.